Last Friday I finished reading a book entitled "Not For the Faint of Heart: My Journey into Manhood in the Santa Clara Vanguard". I myself am an alumnus of the Santa Clara Vanguard organization having marched with their feeder corps for 2 seasons. My second season, the author of this book was a member of the drum line staff. I had been meaning to pick up this book for quite some time though had never gotten around to it. It took a post on a drum corps message board in June about the founder of SCV for my husband who is a regular visitor to the site to sit down and order it for me. And, there it sat, in my house, until Labor Day weekend when I finally picked it up to read it. Reading this book made me reflect on my 2 years in drum and bugle corps. While nothing could ever be the same experiences as to what the author of this book describes, there were some similarities in them.
I love marching. I began marching with the colorguard my freshman year of high school in Orange County. I switched over to the band after that season was over and almost never turned back. I remember the first time I heard about this world of Drum and Bugle Corps. I had just gotten to school one morning in the fall of 95 or spring of 96 and posted outside of the band room was a banner congratulating members of the Capo band on making the Blue Devils. I had no idea what the Blue Devils were. I eventually found out that they were one of the best drum and bugle corps around. For me being uneducated, I was told that a drum corps is like a professional marching band without woodwinds. I was intrigued with the idea of being able to march outside of high school. I watched a video of the Blue Devils and their show from that year, 96, the following fall. That fall I also made the switch officially to trombone for marching band, thus beginning my marching career.
In March of 97 I moved to a town just south of San Jose, CA. By moving, that put me closer to these Blue Devils. They were the group that I wanted to be a part of. I remember sitting in brass class at my new school (we were divided into brass/percussion and woodwinds so we each had our own period with the band director and came together a few nights before a concert to play together) and learning that this french horn player, who was their drum major the past fall, was in this group called Vanguard Cadets. I heard "guard" in the title and immediately thought that she was in a colorguard group. I thought, oh, that's cool, another brass player who does guard on the side.
That summer, I went to my very first DCI show (DCI being Drum Corps International, the circuit that BD and SCV compete in). That show was in Hayward, CA, the home show of the Santa Clara Vanguard. As I didn't put two and two together with "Vanguard" and "Vanguard Cadets" I do not remember if I watched their show that night. I remember wanting to find the Blue Devils that I knew that were marching from Capo. I later found out that my trombone section leader at Capo was marching euphonium with the Santa Clara Vanguard. I remember sitting in the stands and seeing a big group wearing green performing their show and learning that they were not a local group, that they came out from Rosemont, Illinois to perform. The Blue Devil's show that year was to the theme of Casablanca, only my favorite movie of all time, so I made sure to watch them. I continued to be mesmerized by what they were doing and awestruck with the fact that I knew people in that group, knew that I marched with people in that group.
After the season ended, I recorded the PBS broadcast of Finals that year, which the Blue Devils did win with that Casablanca show that to this day remains my favorite drum corps show. It was through watching all of the groups that I learned of the Santa Clara Vanguard and that by Santa Clara, meant that they were much closer to me than Concord.
The fall of 97 was my first marching band season with my new school, one that was considerably better than my previous school. The director is a DCI judge. Our visual instructor was (is still I think) a visual instructor for the Blue Devils, Mr. Todd Ryan. I felt better about myself that season, my marching and my talents that I wanted to join the Vanguard Cadets, the same group that the french horn player joined. I had learned by this point that they were the feeder to the big guys. I remember showing up to the audition camp Friday night after most of the practices were over and meeting with the director of the Vanguard Cadets with my parents. They were asking him questions on what it was like, the commitment, the costs... I do remember being asked if I wanted to stay at the camp that weekend. I didn't have to audition as I was joining the Vanguard Cadets and not the big guys but I wanted to get a feel for it all. I was a trombone player picking up a baritone for the first time ever and having to remember what it was like to read treble clef instead of base clef. They did have me go in a room to "audition" which I think for me was just playing a scale. Funny to think about it now.
After that weekend, I was officially a member of the Vanguard Cadets. I had practice twice a week and then one full weekend a month in which my family housed a member from Tempe, AZ during those weekend camps. I remember not getting along with my section leader, at all. To this day I don't remember some of the fights that we had, but I could not stand her, which, for being my section leader, was not exactly a good predicament to be in. As I read this book, he talks about his rookie year in the Santa Clara Vanguard and how a member of his section did not get along with him at all, the fights they would have, the yelling... It reminded me of these fights I had with my section leader.
My first year was obviously a learning experience for me. I made many mistakes as one would expect. My problem was though that I was never called out by my name of Katie. I was always called out by this nickname that I was given. My high school's mascot was an acorn and one of our visual instructors also went to this high school. We were the two "nuts". However, that mascot of acorn was the name that I was given. So, anytime I messed up I would hear "Acorn! Can't you get this right! You didn't make it by count 16" and so forth. I felt like while many members didn't know my actual name, they knew who Acorn was. I felt like quitting as I felt like I couldn't get anything right. I almost did that season. I had previously been awarded a spot in a trio for a soprano (a trumpet), mellophone and baritone with me playing the baritone part. Due to visual difficulties and where myself and the mellophone player had to be after this trio, it was made into a soprano trio. I was so upset, I remember storming off the field saying that it was the only reason why I was staying with the corps. I ended up coming back of course, I just had to think about why I wanted to march. The author of this book also had moments where we wanted to quit but he made it through that season.
My next high school marching band season was rather difficult for me. Having marched for a full season of drum and bugle corps and making the return to the high school level was quite a shock for me. Thankfully, our new visual staff member was the drum major for the Santa Clara Vanguard in 96 and 97. As soon as I learned of this and he made it to camp, I met him. I became his go to person for the band for visual examples which may have helped or may have hurt me. I also showed up to some of the clinics for the Santa Clara Vanguard to prepare me for auditions. Even there, where he was on staff with them, he used me and some actual vets to display certain exercises.
I however decided to not audition that year. I got scared. My new plan was to march the Vanguard Cadets again then audition after that. However, I left the Vanguard Cadets very early on in the season. I had feelings back and forth about wanting to march or not. I continued my senior year and began swing dancing a lot in Santa Cruz over the weekends when the rest of the members of the corps were hard at practice. Something in me told me to go march. So, I rejoined the Vanguard Cadets corps in time for the Memorial Day Weekend camp. The author of the book also had no plans on returning to the corps but someone reached out to him that he did not know and convinced him to return to the corps for his second season.
Just after I returned, I showed up at practice to learn the news of a bass drummer who had died in a car accident from the big guys. We were all seated learning the news. I remember thinking during that practice that it felt like people were taking advantage of the situation and allowing to have a less than satisfactory practice even though most of us did not know him. I read the perspective of what it was like in this book. The funeral with the member wearing his uniform, the corps going home and experiencing electrical problems near the site of his accident for unexplained reasons, I was balling.
This second season in the Vanguard Cadets was a much shorter season than the 98 season. 98 we went to Finals in Orlando in August. 99, we only went to Drums Along the Rockies in Denver in the middle of July. 98 I went Thanksgiving weekend to Finals. 99, I rejoined at the end of May. I had to miss the first 2 shows of the 99 season as I had previously committed to attending my freshman orientation at my new college that same weekend. I also fell during a running block one morning at Santa Teresa High School. I was towards the end of the block and a member from the soprano line was running in the block in the opposite direction to yell at the people that were slow and not running with the block. Her legs got tangled in my legs and I fell and hurt my knee. That prevented me from practicing when we went on our Southern California tour and thus prevented me from performing more shows. When I finally was able to perform, the group as a whole had no energy and was not performing up to our potential. These lackluster performances went on for quite a few shows. I actually remember the author talking to us about this and our lack of passion at these shows. I also remember talking to him about this after a show while still hanging out in the stands because it was stick uneventful. I had no idea that he went through the same thing in the 98 season, his last season marching. The corps was not performing up to their potential and their shows were just "blah". Reading his book I found that he was approached to talk to the members of the corps without staff about this very problem.
I remember coming off the field after the last show in Denver and crying. Everyone was crying, it was the last show. But, I wasn't crying because it was a great show, I still felt nothing while marching off of that field. I hated it. I wanted so much to have a great show and feel like the corps as a whole had a great show and that didn't translate to me.
Sadly, that show was my last show as a marching drum corps member. I went to audition for the big guys like I had planned for the 2000 season however I did not march. I made it, but left as I had the opportunity to go to Egypt and Israel over the summer. How many people can say they were there? I knew it was something I had to do. I still had 2 more years after all.
I auditioned for the 2001 season and made it. Again, I decided not to march as I had changed my major in school and thus was highly encouraged to do an internship and I did my internship at the Disneyland Resort that summer. No sweat, 1 more year, the year that matters.
Well, I auditioned again, made it. Was asked about it by the Baritone/Euphonium tech if I regretted not marching those 2 years. Honestly, I did not, and I still don't. I had an amazing time those 2 summers doing things that I knew I would never have the opportunity to do again. With the assurance that I was not going to not march, I was in. The December camp came and I was now an out of town member as my college was out of state. I had been informed previously that out of town members who had officially made it (not an alternate) were not required to attend the December camp and to show up in January. So, my family went on vacation for the holidays and took an enjoyable Disney cruise. While on this trip I received an email saying that I had been cut. I was devastated. If I was supposed to show up why tell me that I don't? I seriously thought about pretending that I had never seen the email and still showing up in January to see what happened. I was encouraged not to do so in case I decided I couldn't hack it and quit. I really wish I had decided to show up in January to see what happened. I think that's partially why I decided to do that triathlon. I wanted to prove to the people that told me to not show up in January that I could actually follow through and achieve something.
Anyway, there's my rant. Reading that book made me think back to my two seasons marching. It made me reflect on those years in a different light. I am glad that I was able to march as much as I did. Though I must say, it still makes me think back on what could have been in 2002.
