Hate to lose you

I am having a serious hate relationship with one of my friends right now. Not a love hate, just hate. It’s a shame because I’ve had this friend for just over 8 years now. She was instrumental in mine and Jason’s relationship starting. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding – actually due to my sister’s age/immaturity/location, she really acted as my MOH on my sister’s behalf. The only reason she was not MOH was because I could not justify not giving the title

We hardly see her anymore. She started dating this guy about 3 years ago (just about 6 months before the wedding) and that is where everything went downhill. Not to say he’s to blame for everything, I actually like him, for the most part (though he’s a 40 year old afraid of putting a ring on her finger, but that’s another story). She complains that she never gets to see her friends and that she only gets to see her boyfriend’s friends. We have invited (individually and as a couple invited) her (as a couple and individually) to do things. She almost never agrees. She also will not ask her friends to do something herself. It is a two way street you know. Then, we’ll invite her to our parties we have and she double books herself, comes late to the party (as in, the last one to arrive by nearly 2 hours) and is the first one to leave (after staying maybe an hour).

We complain about money but we have a budget in place and know when we can do things or when we can’t or when we have to save up for things. She complains about money all the time. She purchased an apartment gone condo in 2007 which we all know was the wrong time to do this. She then takes on a serious amount of debt to start tearing apart her kitchen and redo it. She then says she has no money, starts working 2 other jobs in addition to her teaching job and is completely miserable. Ok, I can see that. No worries there. She then quits her 2 jobs and starts to complain about not having any money again. Yet, she and her boyfriend go off and buy annual passes to Disneyland and take weekend trips to the park and brag about it to us. Am I jealous of their trips to Disneyland? Usually no except when they recently went to see the Halloween stuff as I won’t be able to see it. It just annoys me so much because she complains and complains and complains yet buys the ever increasing annual pass to the park and takes weekend trips there at least once, sometimes more a month. I don’t want to hear about it!

I’m ready to not send her the invitation to our holiday party this year just so that I won’t have to deal with her. Is that wrong? Should I talk to her and tell her how frustrating it is on my side? I don’t know the exact circumstances for her money problem, perhaps her savings is for these weekend trips and such and that is more important to her than something else. If that is the case, don’t complain about not seeing people because you don’t have any money to do stuff or don’t show up late and be the first to leave to an event or double book yourself. You owe more to your friends. If you can’t make it to a whole night with one, say sorry and try for breakfast at someone’s house the next morning!