Monday, January 25, 2010

3 of a kind (Post number 100)

So, let me tell you about my friends Marie and Libby.

Marie, Libby, me at the Chihuly exhibit at the Desert Botanical Gardens, February 09

Marie went to high school with Jason. She was on the dance team that performed with the marching band, and my husband continues to believe that he was friends with dancers and cheerleaders alike. Sure you were, you were just their type.

Anyway, it was Jason, Marie, and his other best friend, Eva (who was the "Best Girl" at our wedding) all throughout high school. In fact, Jason took Marie to their senior prom. The three of them went to NAU together for school. Jason, being the music major, was in school for 6 years and Marie and Eva graduated in 4.5 years.

Marie's brother James married Libby, this horticulturalist who, until this past May, attended ASU and worked full time with her own landscaping company. Now, Jason and I didn't really know them when we got married, but now we look back and say if we had known them then, they would have been at the wedding. But, that is neither here nor there.

Marie and her husband Mike started bringing us along to hang out with James and Libby, either by playing Rock Band at Marie's house or Leap Year-A-Palooza (to be held every 4 years at James and Libby's house). Starting with last year's PF Chang Rock N Roll marathon in which we went to watch Marie run the 1/2 marathon, we spent at least 1 day of every weekend together until we left for Paris 2 months later. We went to the Chuhuly exhibit, the Renaissance Festival, lots of board games and Rock Band... It always seemed that we were all delaying the inevitable of young couples. First, Marie and Mike put off babies due to her 1/2 marathon, then there was talk of going to Europe for them (which they never did do). For James and Libby, it was waiting till she graduated from ASU in May of 08. For us, it was waiting for me to complete my triathlon. Well, we found that Mike and Marie decided not to hold off on trying for a baby because of a possible trip to Europe and thus began trying after her run. May came and went and Libby and I joined in.

This past Friday night, we had dinner with James, Libby, Mike, Marie, and Eva and a friend of hers. We were the first ones there, and got a table. James and Libby were next. Libby hugged me and then immediately shared their news. Libby is 15 weeks pregnant (well, as of Wednesday, 16). That puts us 5 weeks apart. She is due July 15. She told us that in preparation for it taking a long time, they actually started "letting things happen" last December. We then, of course, told them. She doesn't have any friends that are currently pregnant so who knows, we could be closer.

Shortly after, Marie and Mike showed up. Marie orders a beer so we know that there is nothing going on for them. She was actually the one I was most nervous about telling because of the perception I had that her sister in law Libby and I didn't start trying till May/June. So, we told them. They said their congratulations and asked general questions like how far we are and our due date and then about 2 minutes later, Marie excuses herself to go to the restroom. While she was gone, we asked her husband how she was and he didn't have much to say about it, said that she'd be fine. He said they were expecting this announcement from us.

So, Marie comes back and gets back in the booth. We are still waiting for Eva and her friend to show up (Eva is always the late one). So, we let everyone look at the menu and then eventually Libby and I continue talking. Shortly later, Marie and Mike were talking behind a menu and then they both get up out of the booth and tears are streaming down Marie's face. I am so sorry that she has to go through this. Her sister in law and one of her best friend's wife is pregnant without her. She wants a baby so bad. I hope that now that they have reached that year mark that they can take the next step. About 5 minutes later, they come back and the tears are gone and it is a mostly enjoyable evening.

Eva and her friend show up and Jason was bursting to tell her the news. I however did not want to. I wanted to wait until we were alone with her and away from Marie so that she wouldn't have to hear it again. She must have seen my hesitation to this because she sent Jason a text to say that she was ok now and to please tell her. We did, and that was the end of baby talk from that side of the table.

Libby and I continued talking. Our next doctor appointments are 1 day apart and we found out that we have the same doctor, a doctor that my friend Stacey used with the delivery of her son. That is how I chose this doctor not even knowing that Libby and also Marie use her too. I had heard that a lot of people use this office, but what are the chances we use the same doctor from that office!

Anyway, I feel like this has gone pretty much no where. I just wanted to share how sad I am for Marie. We know that she is happy for us because she is and that she is just mad/sad at her situation. It seems like it might be too late to wish that she gets a due date of September, but perhaps October? I'm sure Libby and I both would love to go through this with her. I just hope it doesn't deter her from wanting to see us. Only time will tell.


2 comments:

Stacey @ Say Something Stacey said...

I'm sorry for your friend, I hope she gets the water soon :).

Lisa said...

It is nice that you were/are sensitive to her situation. Having gone through that myself, just know that ff she doesnt come around, its not personal.